Questions!

On or off topic discussions. Whatever is on you mind...
Post Reply
wannabedoll
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:12 am

Questions!

Post by wannabedoll »

Hi guys, I know this is a bit weird and all and I'm not sure I'm even posting in the right place but here goes...

My boyfriend has a timestop/freeze fetish. I'll admit I was a bit freaked out at first but now I just wanna find out as much as I can about ASFR. I'll also admit I'm also just interested in all fetishes and this is something I'd never heard of before.

Anyway, my main problem is that my boyfriend doesn't want me to have any part of his fetish, even though I'd be happy to indulge his fantasy. I found this board in his search history, so I just wanted to ask some 'experts' whether there is anything I could do to make him comfortable enough to talk to me about it. Or should I just butt out of his business?

I don't mean to offend anyone by my questions (and I have so many!) but I just didn't know who else to ask. My boyfriend gets very annoyed if it's brought up and becomes very defensive :( So if anyone can take the time to help me out I'd really appreciate it

xxx
greneker03
400+
Posts: 498
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:15 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by greneker03 »

It might be best not to get an answer here. He would most likely read it here, thus the idea is blown..You can email me at greneker03@yahoo.com

I would be happy to help.
juva
FIMS Contributor
Posts: 344
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 3:47 am

Re: Questions!

Post by juva »

greneker03 wrote:I would be happy to help.
:wink: :wink:

I bet you would.
asfrmaster
200+ Spending too much Time Here
Posts: 269
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:12 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by asfrmaster »

If he is defensive about it, that means that he is most likely embarrassed of it as it isn't the most usual fetish around. I have some advice for you if you like to hear. You can make both of your times together more enjoyable. Fini2012@gmail.com
readinghypnotist
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 391
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 4:37 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by readinghypnotist »

Hmmm...

At first, I thought "Gee, what a lucky guy. Why would he want to exclude her if she's willing?" (I've always kept this to myself. Never really brought it up with any girls I was with)

Then again, some people might want to be careful and keep their fantasy life and their real life apart. Maybe, as the above poster suggested, he's embarrassed about it. Maybe he think if you ever (God forbid) broke up, that you might reveal some secrets to your friends or some future guy, thus the less you know, the safer it is for him.

As cool as it would be to walk in and have one's g/f posed like a mannequin, probably not a good idea until you know it's all right. Maybe you can share something very personal with him, to let him know you trust him, and it could help him open up a bit more.

And on the off chance, that the guy-in-question is reading this, give her a break, man. She's making an effort. :mrgreen:
wannabedoll
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:12 am

Re: Questions!

Post by wannabedoll »

Thanks for all the lovely replies, guys! I probably should've said that he doesn't have an account here, he just looked (else I definately wouldn't have taken a chance posting here) - but feel free to PM me if you prefer. So have no fear, he is not in your midst :) And the ironic thing is that because of my amazing internet-ninja abilities he's actually found more ASFR sites through my research than he ever found on his own.

You made a good point, readinghypnotist. Perhaps it's best if I'm patient and maybe if we're together for another year or so he'll be able to confide his fantasy to me. I don't want to push him anymore, especially after I freaked out when I found out he'd been lying to me.

Anyway, this isn't supposed to be a sob story, and I'd like to ask some more questions if thats ok. I found out by accident that he had a user account on a forum for realdoll lovers, and I guess I'm wondering how likely it is (regarding his fetish) that I'm gonna be replaced by a hunk of silicone? I know, right, insecure much?

Thanks again for taking the time to reply to me btw :)
Last edited by wannabedoll on Sat Aug 27, 2011 2:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
wannabedoll
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:12 am

Re: Questions!

Post by wannabedoll »

Oh and in slightly related news, I'm taking part in a freeze flashmob next month, so maybe that might stir him up a bit. Any techniques for staying still without blinking?





I'm thinking there should be a forum for ASFR-WAGS - any takers? lol
thev
50+ FIMS Regular
Posts: 62
Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 2:52 pm
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: Questions!

Post by thev »

There's a neat little trick to stop you're self from blinking and you're eyes from drying up if you focus on some thing way of in the distance and move you're eyes around that object you're eyes will actualy only move ever so slightly but that should be enough to keep them moist and stop you're eyes from drying out and hurting try practising this you're self the more you practise the longer you'll be able to last all the best with the flash mob.

thev.
Fear Is The Mind Killer...
And
"I Am Fear"
HypnoGold
Producer Extraordinaire
Posts: 508
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:18 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by HypnoGold »

Or I can hypnotize you. That works like a charm! :wink:
User avatar
Lord Hypno
Hypnotist
Posts: 690
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 2:05 am
Location: Plant City Florida
Contact:

Re: Questions!

Post by Lord Hypno »

HypnoGold wrote:Or I can hypnotize you. That works like a charm! :wink:
hahah I'm surprised your the first to bring that up, i know i thought it
___________________
_____________________

Fear is The Mind Killer
HypnoGold
Producer Extraordinaire
Posts: 508
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:18 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by HypnoGold »

I figured as much! :D
hypnofreeze
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:55 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by hypnofreeze »

Hello,

I responded to the thread over in goodinbed.com, but the thread got deleted shortly afterwards, so I can assume you never saw it.

First of all, these forums are populated by lurkers. I read this forum for years (10?) before posting. I don't think it would be a bad thing if your BF read this thread, since you are taking such a positive attitude. Anyway, assume he is reading this.

Next, this fetish is a bit off the beaten path and I am sure all of us felt a bit like freaks until we found each other and discovered that we were more normal than we thought. However, your initial attitude when you discovered his fetish probably made him feel freakish again, hence his refusal to open up more and to lie and say he 'fixed' himself of this fetish.

You said he was into statues and wax figures, but I am certain the turn on is imagining that those figures were people who were frozen.

The real doll thing? I imagine that is for people like us who are so shy as to be unable to have a real life relationship. If we are in a real relationship, we want our mates to freeze for us.

However, if we are so shy as to never ask our GFs to freeze for us, we might look to freeze porn to satisfy our needs.

I mentioned on the other forum that this fetish may be the result of extreme shyness at a young age, so being shy about sharing this fetish is to be expected.

So, what to do? Since you first asked about this a couple of months ago and are still interested in your BF and took the time to investigate this in a positive way, you obviously want to make your BF happy and be happy yourself.

Indulge him! Since he denies he is still interested in this fetish, it may take more than to dress up sexily and freeze for him. The flash mob is a interesting idea. Is he going? Does he know about it? Being in a public place with a lot of frozen people, knowing that you know about his fetish may make him uncomfortable.

I am going to recommend being hypnotized. I can recommend both Lordhypno through years of indirect association and HypnoGold since he helped me directly.

It is relatively easy to be hypnotized to frozen. This will solve the issue of blinking since this is an important part of the freeze fetish and blinking kind of ruins the effect. Also, you can be hypnotized to be unaware while frozen. The advantage is that he won't be crippled with shame being with you frozen for the first time.

Read up on hypnosis if you have any concerns.

I am in a long term committed relationship. My GF was just like you at first, but because she loved me and wanted me to be happy she indulged me. We didn't start out with hypnosis, but I wanted to try it because she wasn't very good at freezing.

So, don't be concerned about being supplanted by an inanimate object, because that is only a substitute for freezing you. Consider asking HypnoGold for a customized recording, with triggers that you give to your BF. Surprise him!

I am certain he will be pleased and you both will have an amazing experience.

Feel free to email me with any questions/concerns at:

hypnofreeze99@gmail.com
wannabedoll
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:12 am

Re: Questions!

Post by wannabedoll »

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been here in ages, my internet was down. And is it so obvious that I made that post on goodinbed.com? lol

Anyway, to respond to your post hypnofreeze, I'll admit things haven't been easy. One of the things that made us tense was the fact that I know he used my laptop to look up freeze porn. Call me a prude, but that made me feel a bit violated so I pretty much vetoed him from using it. We talked a couple of days ago and I've reconsidered giving him another chance, so we'll see if I can trust him again. I think trust is one of the bigger issues here.
Also during that conversation I mentioned that I was open to fulfilling any fantasies he might have and he refused outright. Kinda makes me think that while it's just porn he doesn't have to face up to his fetish, but if I get involved he might have to start accepting it as part of himself. I'm still gonna take part in the flashmob, because I want to, but I don't think he'll be interested in it because I'm there.

Overall, things have improved though, he seems happier and I guess that's what is important. He also told me that he wants our relationship to be long-term, so I guess I can't doubt his affection for me.
I've heard interesting things about hypnosis and I would consider it, but I think I'll just have to wait until he feels he can trust me a little more...

Thoughts, anyone? :?
HypnoGold
Producer Extraordinaire
Posts: 508
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:18 pm

Re: Questions!

Post by HypnoGold »

Hi. Glad you're back. Just a couple of thoughts on your post.

Women should always keep in mind that just because a man looks at porn it doesn't mean he is not interested in you. We are wired differently and do not equate what we see in porn with the women we have in our lives. It's often quite the contrary, a case where we value those we love and don't want to see them in a situation that objectifies them like porn might. That might account for his refusal to allow you to indulge his fantasy. Or he may still be a bit embarrassed by it and needs time to come around to your very kind offer.

On the hypnosis, please feel free to PM me if you decide you are interested. It's very easy to accomplish remotely using audio recordings, and I can guarantee you'll enjoy the relaxation and feeling of well-being that it provides

Good luck!
wannabedoll
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:12 am

Re: Questions!

Post by wannabedoll »

I understand your point about men and porn - and it's the same for women also, believe me. I guess I'm just confused at why he keeps rejecting me and then turns to porn instead. I watch porn as a 2nd choice, when he's not there. I've never seen it as an 'alternative' the way he seems to. I know I shouldn't let it impact my self-esteem but it sort of does - I explained it to him once by saying it's like I've gone out of my way to prepare an amazing meal for him and he's decided to order food in anyway :(
Oh well at least this flashmob will let him judge whether I have any freezing talent.

Could you PM me with some info on hypnosis? Like how would the process work? Sounds interesting, but I don't want to scare him off or make him uncomfortable by taking such a big step... xx
King Snarf
<25 FIMS Newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:57 am

Re: Questions!

Post by King Snarf »

This is my first post, so be gentle, everyone. :wink:

Anyway, first let me say that I think it's really cool that you've taken an interest and are trying to share it with him. It seems you've developed a real passion for it yourself.

As to why he's continually refusing, I have two thoughts. Having given a lot of thought about the fetish, it seems to me that it has its roots in control and male voyeurism.

Perhaps he's refusing because in his fantasy, there's ultimate control- once the subject in question is frozen, she's frozen until the instigator releases control. Now, if you and he were to engage in freeze play, maybe he's aware that you could conceivably take control again, thus ruining his fantasy. There's no danger of that with porn.

Alternatively, perhaps the reason that he doesn't want to do it is because while he may want control, he may not want to control you. From everything you've said thus far, it appears that he does care about you; perhaps he doesn't want to play his fantasy with you because he respects you to much.

Again, don't push the issue if he's not comfortable with it. If it does come up again, stress that it wouldn't be just for his enjoyment, but for yours; fantasies are always better with a willing and eager companion.

Best of luck.
Post Reply