My TS script

On or off topic discussions. Whatever is on you mind...
Post Reply
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

My script for a TS film. Don't know if it will be made, but interested in feedback on it.
And yes, this an attempt to settle my debate with TSPantyhose.

Code: Select all

Max on his way home spots one of his female neighbors, Angela, about to lock her self into her apartment. 
She is looking like she came home from a date, judging by her hot dress.
Max, not about to miss out on this, stops time with his watch and walks up to her for a closer look.

"Black Strapless dress, matching handbag, skin colored pantyhose, black high heel shoes, even sexy underwear.
You really went through all that trouble, just so you could get some sex? Let me show you all that you needed to do."

Max carries Angela into her apartment and sets her (standing) down in the living room.

"First of all, lets get you into something more appropriate."
Max removes the handbag, pulls down the dress, then pulls down the pantyhose, 
lifts her feet up, 1 at the time, and removes her shoes along with the dress and pantyhose and trows it away.
Angela is left standing in a black strapless laced bra and a black laced thong.

"See? If you want sex, this is the way to go. Still not convinced? Let me give you a lesson in my 5 steps for quarantined satisfactory."
He sits her down on her knees, in front of the couch, sits down on it (with Angela between his legs) and fishes out his dick.

"Leason 1: You always want to start out by giving head, very few men will refuse you after that."
Max opens Angela's mouth and puts his cock into it. He then places his hands on her head and starts moving her head down and up his cock.

"See? Not that hard to get me interested. Now lets see if you got the skills to win me over."
Max pulls Angela's mouth all the way down (deep through).
"Yeah, deftly."

Max starts moving her head all the way up and down his cock in a steady tempo (his cock never leaves her mouth).
He continues with that till he cums in her mouth (her mouth is all the way down when he cums).

"Guess that lesson was unneeded, as you seems to have masted it. Just remember that lesson 1 don't end before we have a money shot. Anyway lets move on."

Max stands up and moves Angela into standing position.
He feels her tits for moment, before sliding the bra down and feels them again.
"Seems you got the right assets for lesson 2: tit action. But first lets get you ready."

He takes out a tube of lube and apply some to her tits.
He then lays her down on the floor, sits down on top of her, puts his cock between her tits and uses her hands to keep them in place.
Max moves back and forth a few times.
"Yeah, deftly got the assets for it."

Max spend a minute tit fucking Angela.
"As much as I would like to continue lesson 2, we need to move on."

Max gets off, puts Angela on the couch, takes of her thong, spreads her legs and sticks a finger into her pussy.
"You are not ready for lesson 3: vaginal sex. But again, got that covered."
Max takes out the tube of lube and spends 2 minutes lubing and fingering Angela's pussy.

"Now that you are ready, lets see what you got..."
Max works his cock head into Angela's pussy and moves it in and out a few times.
"Not bad, but you can do better..."
Max works his cock all the way in and moves it full length in and out a few times.
"Nice and tight. Just the its suppose to be. Now lets see your over all skills."

Max fuck's her for a minute spread legs on the couch.
Then he sits down on the couch and move her on top of him (reverse cowboy) and fuck's her for another minute.
Then he stands her up, bends her forward, puts her hands on the wall and fucks her from behind for a minute.
Next he lays down on the floor with her on top (cowboy style) and fuck's her for another minute.
Last he puts her on all 4 on the floor and fuck's her for yet another minute.
(Max's hands wanders to tits from time to time)

"Seems I don't need to teach out more in lesson 3, so lets move on too 4: anal sex. Once we get you ready for it"
Max bends Angela's head down (bottom up position) and spends a minute lubing and fingering her ass hole.

Max then works his cock head into her ass and moves it in and out a few times.
"Again, not bad, but you can do better..."
Max works his cock all the way into her ass and moves it full length in and out a few times.
"Nice, but a little to tight. Guess we have to work on that, but lets see your skills first."

Max fucks her slowly for a minute bottoms up on the floor, then another minute normally.
Then he puts her on all 4 in the couch and fuck's her for yet another minute.
Last he sits down on the couch and move her on top of him (reverse cowboy) and fuck's her for another minute.
(Max's hands wanders to tits from time to time)

"You needs a little more practices, but good enough for now, so lets move onto last lesson: creampie."
Max moves Angela into standing position.
He then puts 1 finger in her pussy and 1 in her ass, then moves them in and out a little.
"Seems your pussy want it the most, so lets do it."

He fucks her standing from behind till he cums inside her.

"Over all an good performance. I find you date ready. So lets wrap this up."
Max redresses Angela and moves her back to the hallway.
He moves to a safe position and starts time. 
Angela opens the door and goes inside. Closing the door behind her.
greneker03
400+
Posts: 498
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:15 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by greneker03 »

sounds a lot like a porn flick but a woman posed in place.

I will be honest. not real impressed with the story.

Sorry.


greneker03
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

greneker03 wrote:sounds a lot like a porn flick but a woman posed in place.

I will be honest. not real impressed with the story.
How would you suggest I make the story better? Add more none porn action?
simonjedi
200+ Spending too much Time Here
Posts: 221
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 10:35 am

Re: My TS script

Post by simonjedi »

Add some unfreezing. I agree with greneker it is a bit

*freeze* sex sex sex sex sex sex sex *unfreeze*

Bit I dunno, maybe TS people get off on that. I don't know. It's not my thing fetishwise.

Edit: The script is also really wordy and just drags on and on around the dialogue.
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

Maybe this is the wrong forum for hardcore time stop movies, but lets see what can work.

What if the story is about Angela getting ready for a date and Max is stopping now and then to teach the lesson's?
Same porn content, just more none-porn action.
el salvador
400+
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:49 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by el salvador »

ive been paying cammodels more lately because most of these freeze fetish films dont have...well, FREEZE. primarily meaning freezing and unfreezing.

lately there has been too much sex, fembot, robot, mind control stuff and not enough freezing. at least for me im a pure freeze guy whether its timestop or hypnosis triggers. its all about seeing frozen girls for me.
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

el salvador wrote:ive been paying cammodels more lately because most of these freeze fetish films dont have...well, FREEZE. primarily meaning freezing and unfreezing.

lately there has been too much sex, fembot, robot, mind control stuff and not enough freezing. at least for me im a pure freeze guy whether its timestop or hypnosis triggers. its all about seeing frozen girls for me.
Guess I'm at the opposite end of the scale, I won't buy unless there is some porn in it.
But wont mind input on the none porn part, as it seems they are the once I have to improve.
el salvador
400+
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:49 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by el salvador »

Shadowaa wrote:
el salvador wrote:ive been paying cammodels more lately because most of these freeze fetish films dont have...well, FREEZE. primarily meaning freezing and unfreezing.

lately there has been too much sex, fembot, robot, mind control stuff and not enough freezing. at least for me im a pure freeze guy whether its timestop or hypnosis triggers. its all about seeing frozen girls for me.
Guess I'm at the opposite end of the scale, I won't buy unless there is some porn in it.
But wont mind input on the none porn part, as it seems they are the once I have to improve.

if its a custom video you should do whatever you want. go for it!! its your script after all.
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

el salvador wrote:if its a custom video you should do whatever you want. go for it!! its your script after all.
I'm looking for feedback, so maybe this custom can be sold to others then just me.
Tekka
100+ FIMS Warrior
Posts: 115
Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:07 am

Re: My TS script

Post by Tekka »

ok fellas, lets not jump on Shadow's case, he is giving this a go. So lets help him out.

How about this, your protagonist already knows the woman, in fact, has gotten to know her quite well, along with a few other female attendants. Maybe some kind of device that freezes them individually? he picks her up and takes her back to his home/lab and wants to see how well the device is working, see if someone actively touching her will cause her to unfreeze, have a few unfreezes, and him adjusting said device while bonking her. At the end she's standing at attention with two more ladies waiting for further testing :twisted:

Tek~
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

1 way to get unfreezes, is to give Max an watch that times out now and then.
That or a watch that needs to be pulled up and only gives you a few minutes each time.

Now to find a base story that works with that.
asfrmaster
200+ Spending too much Time Here
Posts: 269
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:12 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by asfrmaster »

I agree with Tekka's suggestion. It is the act of freezing on and off, and the final result being a nice little collection :D
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

Think I have found the concept:
Max is giving out free massages to females. He uses his stop watch to get a 1-5 minutes of fun now and then.
If a woman is stopped for more then 20 minutes she becomes permanently frozen (built in function on the clock), leaving Max with another doll for his collection.
Note: might change the time frame, depending on the overall price.

Now for the hard part, making a doable script.
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

The new script is done.
Let me know if its better or worse then the first 1.

Code: Select all

Mia and Erica walks in the door.
Mia: "Hey, is this where you can get free massage?"
Max: "If you lay down topless or less for a full body massage, I do it for free."
Mia: "You have time for us now?"
Max: "Yes, but I normally don't do massage more then 1 at the time. But if you don't mind it taking a bit longer, so I'm sure I can manage. You girls can go and get ready, and I will be right there."
Mia and Erica walks into the massage room and takes off there dress and shoes, leaving them in thongs only.
During undress - Erika: "Can't believe you got me into this. We are probably going to be touched a lot to make up for the free part."
During undress - Mia: "Relax. We are saving a 1000$, so let the man have a few touches."
During undress - Max sets the time stop for 2 minutes and starts it just as the girls are finish undressing (they are still standing).
He walks in, inspects there body's, gets a quick feel of there tits and ass.
Max: "Looks like I might get my money out of these 2."
Max exit's before times up.
The girls grab a towel and lay face down on each half (Mia left, Erika right) of the massage bed (its big enough for 2).
Mia: "We are ready."
Max comes in.
Max: "Okay, how's first?"
Mia: "Me, Mia, first, then Eirka."
Max grabs a bottle of oil and oil's first Mia's back then Erika's back.
Next he oil's there arm's, feet's and butt's. 
Max sets the time stop to 4 minutes and starts it.
He pulls Mia's thong off, moves her legs apart and oil's the areas the thong was covering. Then he does the same to Erika.
Max oil's his fingers, then first spreads there holes (takes a moment to look) then works some fingers into them. Left hand has 1 finger in Mia's pussy and 1 in her asshole, while the right hand has same in Erika.
He slowly moves his fingers in, out and around inside, lubing there holes.
During fingering - Max: "Yeah, these 2 body's are deftly going to pay more then enough for all the work. Would have loved to collected right now, but my time is up."
He pulls out his fingers and slips there thongs back on.
Alarm clock rings. Erika moves a little, turns her head and moves a hand to her butt, touching her asshole for a sec, but says nothing.
Max walks in front and start massaging both there back's, up and down along the spine, for 30 sec.
Next he massages there neck's, for 30 sec.
Then he moves to Mia's side and focuses on her shoulders, for 30 sec.
Moving his hand back he sets the timer for 1 minutes and starts it.
He opens Mia's mouth, fishes his cock out and slip the head inside. He moves the head slowly back on forth on her tong.
With 20 sec left, so does Max move his cock as far in as it goes, holds for a sec, then pulls out, puts his cock away, closes Mia's mouth and resumes position on her side.
The alarm goes off, but no reaction from Mia.
Max moves to Erika's side and does her shoulders, for 30 sec.
Again so does he sets the time for 1 minute and start it.
He opens Erika's mouth, fishes his cock out and slip the head inside. He moves the head slowly back on forth on her tong.
During blowjob - Max: "No cough or reaction from Mia, looks like she is well used. While Erika seems the opposite, but guess this will determine it."
Max moves his cock as far in as it goes, holds for a sec, then pulles out, puts his cock away, closes Erika's mouth and resumes position on her side.
Alarm goes off, Erika coughs a little, but soon settles down. Max smiles briefly.
Max walks over to Mia's side and works on her lower back and butt, for 30 sec, then does same to Erika.
Max sets the time stop to 2 minutes and starts it.
Max: "I have to do something about this boner, before I lose it." Fishes out his cock while taking.
He walks up to Mia's head, opens her mouth and stick his cock all the way in. He grabs hold of her head and mouth fucks her.
Almost forgetting him self, Max noticed that the watch have just 5 sec left. He quickly pulls out and get back to his position.
The alarm rings just as Max is in position, but with his cock still out.
To not seems suspicious he starts massaging the underside of there feet. He manages to keep it up for the minute needed to recharge the watch.
Wasting no time, he sets it for 3 minutes and starts it.
Max: "That was close. But I still need to get off, so lets see what sweet Erika got."
He walks up to Erika's head, opens her mouth and stick his cock all the way in. He grabs hold of her head and mouth fucks her.
He cums down her trough.
Max: "That hit the spot, thanks honey."
He looks at the watch and sees that it almost got a minute left.
Max pulls out his cock, walks around to Mia's side, pulls her thong down to her knees, gets up on the table on top of Mia and pushes his cock head into her asshole.
After moving in and out a few times, he gets off just in time for the alarm, with his cock still out. Mia's thong is still around her knees, but no reaction to it.
Erika coughs a lot, then settles down. While Max massaging there lower legs, for 30 sec.
Next he moves to Mia's side and works her thigh, being careful not to touch her thong or pussy.
When the countdown is finish he sets the timer for a minute then starts it.
Max: "Thank god this slut did not notice her thong was slipped down, or I would have been in for it."
He fixes Mia's thong and hides his cock.
Max: "There all ready for flipping."
The alarm goes of and Max moves to Erika's side for her thigh massage, for 30 sec.
Max: "Okay ladies, you can turn around now."
The girls turns and Max moves in front and massages there neck and chest above tits, for 30 sec.
He sets the timer for a minute and starts it.
Max works there tits. 
Max: "That's 15 minutes, 5 more and you are going home with me."
He moves his hands back to there necks just as the alarm goes off.
Erika: "Watch where you put those hands of yours."
Max: "Ops, my bad."
Max moves to Mia's side and does her stomach, for 30 sec.
Then he moves to Erika's side and starts massaging her stomach.
Erika: "I said watch where you put those hands."
Max: "My hands are no where near you tits right now."
Erika: "I have enough, come Mia we are leaving."
Erika stands up and starts walking and Mia is about to follow.
Thinking fast Max sets the 4 minute timer and starts it.
Max: "There is no way you are leaving before I fuck that sweet pussy of yours."
He lays Erika back down on the massage bed and removes her thong.
Next he pulls of Mia's thong and then he spreads both girls legs.
He moves on to the table, takes place between Erika's legs, fishes out his cock and works all the way it into the pussy.
He fucks her for a minute, then switches to Mia's pussy, for another minute of fucking.
Next he moves them on top of each other (face to face), with Erika on top. He then stands back and watches, slowly stroking his cock, as the alarm goes off.
The girls are first a little confused, but then squirms to separate and quickly cover them self.
Max: "Finish with your show already?
Mia: "Screw you."
Erika: "What did you do to us?"
Max: "Nothing you didn't do yourself sweet heart, but if you are nice I might delete the pictures of it." - Picks up a camera and shows it to them.
Mia: "Fine, what do you want?"
Max: "My cock in Erika's asshole."
Erika: "No way, your pig."
Max: "Your choice."
Max sets the timer for 2 minutes and starts it.
Max: "Shame, you are ass would have made up for the free massage and I would have let the 2 of you go."
Max lays the girl face down on the massage bed, then lifts there bottoms up.
Max: "Guess you desides to become my 2 newest wife's instead. So lets on with the ceremony."
He claims up on the table and works his cock all the way into Mia's asshole.
The slowly fucks her asshole for a minute, then grabs her tits and pulls her up, then fucks her asshole hard for a minute.
Max: "Congratulation Mia, on becoming my 7th wife."
Max puts Mia down, pulls out, moves behind Erkia and works his cock all the way into her asshole.
He slowly fucks her asshole for a minute, then grabs her tits and pulls her up, then fucks her asshole hard till he cums inside.
Max: "Congratulation Erika, you are now my 8th wife."
He puts Erika down, pulls out, hides his cock. Then he flips both girls and lay them next to each other. 
Max looks at his watch.
Max: "Good thing the stop watch keeps going after the limit is reached, or I would have been caught by my next appointment. She will be her in 2 minutes. I got to clean up and hide my wife's, but first some food."
Max walkes out of the room.
akoof
Producer Extraordinaire
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:46 am

Re: My TS script

Post by akoof »

Looking at things from a technical point, I would imagine the script you have here would be out of the range of most producers, or at the very least rather expensive based on the amount of explicit porn-related aspects. Regardless of that however you were encouraged to write a script based on what you'd want to see, and by all means feel free to have complete creative reign, this is your opportunity to get things across as clearly as you can.

My guess would be that this is possible, but seems to be more in line with the work from Robomeats than any of the other currently active producers. I'm not sure what their policy is on accepting scripts or what their rates for customs are, but I do know it was Evangeline who encouraged you to write a script to submit, and I'm certain I've seen before her post that sex and penetration is a lot more expensive to hire models for, as well as there simply being a select few who are willing to do so in the first place. If you are still looking to submit this to her, then I would recommend toning it down substantially.

As far as what I think of the script itself, if I want to be completely honest, I would get this. I like the idea of the massages, and the aspect that their entire bodies are focussed on, including plenty of time with their rear ends, haha. I can see how it has more porn than freeze elements in certain aspects, which may even be less noticeable since they're lying down on the table, almost too reminiscent of simply being knocked out or something. Perhaps a remedy to this would be to have them in more rigid, obviously frozen positions when lying down? I know legs and arm positions can be great indicators of this. Also one quick little thing is the timer may be a bit too complicated. I got it, but it may be hard to express naturally within the context of the movie. If it can be simplified with the same end result, I'd try that.

Just trying to provide some constructive feedback, so take it as you will. Overall, I would say for feasibility of production, it may be too heavy on the porn, but I don't know what the vast majority are interested in as I'm sure there are too many like myself who usually lurk and refrain from submitting.
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

akoof wrote:Looking at things from a technical point, I would imagine the script you have here would be out of the range of most producers, or at the very least rather expensive based on the amount of explicit porn-related aspects. Regardless of that however you were encouraged to write a script based on what you'd want to see, and by all means feel free to have complete creative reign, this is your opportunity to get things across as clearly as you can.
Yeah, this is more a japanese time stop kind of script then what we have seen from the producers her on the forum.
akoof wrote:My guess would be that this is possible, but seems to be more in line with the work from Robomeats than any of the other currently active producers. I'm not sure what their policy is on accepting scripts or what their rates for customs are, but I do know it was Evangeline who encouraged you to write a script to submit, and I'm certain I've seen before her post that sex and penetration is a lot more expensive to hire models for, as well as there simply being a select few who are willing to do so in the first place. If you are still looking to submit this to her, then I would recommend toning it down substantially.
I just made what I wanted, if its unmake able so does I just have to redo it. That being said, this type of script is more up Robomeats ally then Evangeline.
akoof wrote:As far as what I think of the script itself, if I want to be completely honest, I would get this. I like the idea of the massages, and the aspect that their entire bodies are focussed on, including plenty of time with their rear ends, haha. I can see how it has more porn than freeze elements in certain aspects, which may even be less noticeable since they're lying down on the table, almost too reminiscent of simply being knocked out or something. Perhaps a remedy to this would be to have them in more rigid, obviously frozen positions when lying down? I know legs and arm positions can be great indicators of this. Also one quick little thing is the timer may be a bit too complicated. I got it, but it may be hard to express naturally within the context of the movie. If it can be simplified with the same end result, I'd try that.
More movement during "play time" might be a good idea, can get more interesting poses that way. Just have to find a way to do it, without eating to much of the "play time".
For the timer, so was I thinking something simple like an app. 1 time buttons (1 push adds a minute, max 5), a start button, a countdown functions (green for "active state" and red for recharge), an alarm for "ended active state" and a number for "minutes to collected". Might not even have to make it, can just display the graphic on the screen instead (lower corner), while the actor touches a blank cellphone. I tried to make a more modest time stop device, to naturally limit the porn aspect, but I guess the normal one is easier to get.
User avatar
Lord Hypno
Hypnotist
Posts: 690
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 2:05 am
Location: Plant City Florida
Contact:

Re: My TS script

Post by Lord Hypno »

i have to agree i would not buy it either there is too little freeze and unfreeze,

also for a really Geekie point of view the device bug's me. if it's continued exposure your going to have problems and are only going to freeze a girl once in her lifetime, or have a secret warehouse to keep them all. I would do anything over the 5 Min mark to a one month freeze and over ten a permanent freeze, but it's not continued exposure so you can start/and stop a lot as long as it's not over 5min each time. I also would make you have to touch it to them once then as long as there in range you can stop them, and if you going to make a Android App make it so you can add counters so having 2 freeze buttons at different times would be great, also a Whip button for a 5 min memory wipe. I never see 2 girls unfreeze out of sync lately it's they both freeze or they don't. and it does not count what it's a girl doing the freezing. IMHO leaves the story more open as how the device is used you can start and stop one girl, or 2 girls at the same time, to 2 girls out of sync and play with them then wipe there memory's. you can even have them use it on each other and it break and randomly freeze them (maybe even over the 10 min mark)
___________________
_____________________

Fear is The Mind Killer
el salvador
400+
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:49 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by el salvador »

Lord Hypno wrote:i have to agree i would not buy it either there is too little freeze and unfreeze,

also for a really Geekie point of view the device bug's me. if it's continued exposure your going to have problems and are only going to freeze a girl once in her lifetime, or have a secret warehouse to keep them all. I would do anything over the 5 Min mark to a one month freeze and over ten a permanent freeze, but it's not continued exposure so you can start/and stop a lot as long as it's not over 5min each time. I also would make you have to touch it to them once then as long as there in range you can stop them, and if you going to make a Android App make it so you can add counters so having 2 freeze buttons at different times would be great, also a Whip button for a 5 min memory wipe. I never see 2 girls unfreeze out of sync lately it's they both freeze or they don't. and it does not count what it's a girl doing the freezing. IMHO leaves the story more open as how the device is used you can start and stop one girl, or 2 girls at the same time, to 2 girls out of sync and play with them then wipe there memory's. you can even have them use it on each other and it break and randomly freeze them (maybe even over the 10 min mark)

will u ever make a video again???
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

Guess I have to give the whole device thing some more though.
And I have to take out anal, seems it cost around 2000$ extra per woman to do it. Ether that or find a lot of people who wants to buy it.
User avatar
Lord Hypno
Hypnotist
Posts: 690
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 2:05 am
Location: Plant City Florida
Contact:

Re: My TS script

Post by Lord Hypno »

Shadowaa wrote:Guess I have to give the whole device thing some more though.
And I have to take out anal, seems it cost around 2000$ extra per woman to do it. Ether that or find a lot of people who wants to buy it.
Don't worry your hitting the wall ever producer hit's, ever one thing you should do it different. i started making stuff to make Me happy but i realized in the first 20 min no one but me would like it. my perfect freeze video is a girl getting frozen and unfrozen over and over and over again that's all, does not have to have nudity just freezing. However i know there will be lot's of people that want more, so i tried a shotgun approach.
___________________
_____________________

Fear is The Mind Killer
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

Lord Hypno wrote:Don't worry your hitting the wall ever producer hit's, ever one thing you should do it different. i started making stuff to make Me happy but i realized in the first 20 min no one but me would like it. my perfect freeze video is a girl getting frozen and unfrozen over and over and over again that's all, does not have to have nudity just freezing. However i know there will be lot's of people that want more, so i tried a shotgun approach.
I'm just following what I learned about script writing. Don't make any compromises when writing.
The scaling down and adjusting to cost, is the 2nd processed.

As for devise, so would an few minute glass (scale down hour glass) do the trick. Easy to understand and simple to use.
And for permanent freeze, a jewelry (like a ring or necklaces) would do the trick.
Shadowaa
300+ Spending Way too much time here
Posts: 305
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm

Re: My TS script

Post by Shadowaa »

A new take on a workable time stop manuscript. Feedback wanted.

Code: Select all

The bride along with her 2 bridesmaids changes from there street cloths to there wedding cloths. (including underwear)
Then they walks into the photo studio and lines up for the picture.
Just as the photographer (Max) takes the photo, he closes his eyes. The blitz goes off and freezes the 3 woman's. (1th picture)
Max opens his eyes, walks over to the woman's and slips there dresses down to there waist, then does the same with there bra.
We hear a knock on the door and Max goes to open it.
Eva walks in. "I see you have been buzzy" she says as she sees the 3 woman.
Max: "I though it was the easiest way to convince you it was real."
Eva takes a closer look and groups a few tits. "And they wont wake up?"
Max: "Not before I want them to."
Eva: "Good, lets get started."
2th picture: the way they are now.
3th picture: in there thongs and linger.
4th picture: same cloths, but with a visible dildo into there pussy's (thong pulled aside).
Eva pulls out 2 strap-ons and puts it on the 2 bridesmaids. (thongs and dildos removed first)
Next so does she lines them up so that the bride as 1 strap-on in her mouth and 1 in her pussy.
Eva: "With Angela in your mouth and Lena in your pussy, the joke is not so funny any more, is it Nikki?"
5th picture is taken that way.
Max: "You want to make her sloppy before the close ups?"
Eva: "Good idea."
Eva starts moving Angela's hips, but have a hard time controlling the strap-on.
Max: "It might be easier if you put it on and do it yourself. I promise they wont see that its you on the photo's."
Eva: "Okay, but keep your eyes on the work."
She strips nude, moves Angela out of the way, slips of her strap-on and puts it on her self, then moves into position and starts mouth fucking Nikki.
6th picture: the strap-on deep into Nikki's mouth.
7th picture: the now wet strap-on half way into Nikki's mouth.
Eva slips out of the strap-on, puts it back on Angela and puts her back in position mouth fucking Nikki.
Then she moves Lena out of the way, takes of her strap-on and puts it on her self, then moves into position and starts fucking Nikki's pussy.
8th picture: the strap-on deep into Nikki's pussy.
9th picture: the now wet strap-on half way into Nikki's pussy.
10th picture: the strap-on lined up with Nikki's ass hole. (not into)
Eva slips out of the strap-on, puts it back on Lena and puts her back in position fucking Nikki's pussy.
Max: "You want to a memory photo?"
Eva: "Good idea, but 1 thing first."
Eva changes the girls expression into that of an orgasm, with there eyes closed, moves into position along the brides side (behind) and hold her hands up in a V sign.
The flash freezes Eva and takes the 11th picture.
Max moves up to Eva, sits her down and mouth fuck her, for a minute.
Then he moves behind Angela, slips his cock into her pussy and slowly fucks her, for a minute, while Angela's strap-on fucks Nikki's mouth.
Next he moves behind Lena, slips his cock into her pussy and slowly fucks her, for a minute, while Lena's strap-on fucks Nikki's pussy.
Then he moves Angela out of the way and mouth fuck Nikki for a minute.
Next he puts Angela back in place, then puts Eva in same position as Nikki and moves Lena so she has her strap-on in Eva's mouth.
He then fucks Nikki's pussy for a minute, before he finishes with fucking Eva's pussy and cumming inside.
Next he moves them around for a last picture: Eva bent forward (looking in camera), Nikki with strap-on in Eva's pussy, Lena and Angela holding Eva in place.
Max sets the auto timer for the flash and leaves the room.
Post Reply